It is very important for intending couples to follow the right guidelines stated in the Bible on who to marry, how to marry, when to marry and where to marry? When God instituted the marriage institution, He did it with styles and purposefulness. It will do us good if we follow His footsteps.
Adam was created and he was given an assignment which he joyfully performed. In the course of performing his assignment, it was discovered that there was no one that look like or could be help meet to Adam.
Gen 2:18 KJV And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
It was God that discovered that it was not good for man to be alone. He should not be alone in the garden where he was placed. He will need somebody as a companion, somebody to talk with it or share thoughts with. The need for companion became more obvious when God asked him to name all the animals He brought to him. Adam did it all alone without consulting anyone. But one thing was missing, among all the animals, there was none he could talk with. He could address them, greet them and express love to them but these animals to a larger degree could not do the same thing. At least they can make sound, giggle, and do somethings with their mouth and that is how far they can go. They can’t express their mind and talk about their feeling to Adam.
Gen 2:20 KJV And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.
One of the reasons why all the animals were brought to him for naming was perhaps to see if there is any among them that can to some degree relates with Adam in some areas of life and possibly fulfil the need of previous verse. However, there was not found an help meet or a suitable help meet for him. An equal, a companion, a sharer of his thoughts, his observations, his joys, his purposes, his enterprises None of them can share his joy, thoughts, respond adequately to expression of love and ultimately the prophecy of Gen 1: 28 where God said they should be fruitful and replenish the earth. How could Adam alone possibly do that? He was not hermaphrodite.
The intrigue thing is that all the while the possible help meet for Adam was available in the mind of God or had been created all along. You see God does not react but responds. Major difference. God made man.
Gen 1:26 KJV And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.
However in that man were two people. How do i know that?
Gen 1:28 KJV And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.
When you go back to Gen 1, God bless them. Mark the word “them” Who were “them”? It was the man that He created. God created a spirit man and that spirit man is called Adam. When God observed that it was not good for the man that be alone, he performed first surgical operation on the man and from there brought out a rib with which he formed the woman. In Gen 5, He called them the same name Adam.
Gen 5:2 KJV Male and female created he them; and blessed them, and called their name Adam, in the day when they were created.
The same spirt man is in Adam and in Eve but different body shape and structure to fulfil Gen 1: 28
Going back to Gen 2, God made the woman from the rib collected from the man.
Gen 2:21-22 KJV 21 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; 22 And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.
The word “made” is “banah” in Hebrew and it means to build or shape from. In order word, a woman body was built from the man. This is more reason why women are elegant and shapely than men. Men are from the dirt directly while a woman was from already processed, refined and worked part of the dirt. Beautiful woman came from a man.
1Cor 11:8 KJV For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man.
1Ti 2:13 KJV For Adam was first formed, then Eve.
Now that Adam and the woman had been made, God did something specific and worth understanding. God did not allow Adam to look around for the woman and did not allow Eve or the woman to start wondering who she was and what was she doing there but rather God brought the woman He just formed to the man.
Gen 2:22 KJV And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.
The word “brought” is “bo” in Hebrew and it means to bring somebody to another person or to introduce, to come along with. God took Eve in the hand and literally led her to Adam. Adam woke up from his deep sleep and found a woman standing beside him.
God brought Eve to Adam significantly as her parent. This is to be followed as a rule in marriage whereby a woman is to be given in marriage to a man. The parents of the woman must be fully involved and willingly release their daughters in marriage to the man. This did not speak of “arranged marriage” or “match making” but Godly pattern to be followed.
When Rebecca was to be married, the parents handed her over to the servant of Abraham who came as a proxy. There was consent on both parties. Rebecca was asked if she want to marry Isaac and she said she will.
Gen 24:57-60 KJV 57 And they said, We will call the damsel, and enquire at her mouth. 58 And they called Rebekah, and said unto her, Wilt thou go with this man? And she said, I will go. 59 And they sent away Rebekah their sister, and her nurse, and Abraham’s servant, and his men. 60 And they blessed Rebekah, and said unto her, Thou art our sister, be thou the mother of thousands of millions, and let thy seed possess the gate of those which hate them.
In the time of Jacob too, it was the same thing. After performing the obligation of dowry which was done in kind by serving the father in law for seven years. Rachael was to be presented to him. However, he was duped and another lady was presented that night instead of the one he wanted to marry.
Gen 29:23 KJV And it came to pass in the evening, that he took Leah his daughter, and brought her to him; and he went in unto her.
Jacob agreed to render service for another seven years in order to marry Rachael. She was presented to him.
Gen 29:27-28 KJV 27 Fulfil her week, and we will give thee this also for the service which thou shalt serve with me yet seven other years. 28 And Jacob did so, and fulfilled her week: and he gave him Rachel his daughter to wife also.
In all those cases the parents performed the Godly roles of “giving out” their daughters in marriages to their respective husbands.
When the children of Israel were in captivity, they were to spend considerable number of years there and this is what God told them:
Jer 29:6 KJV Take ye wives, and beget sons and daughters; and take wives for your sons, and give your daughters to husbands, that they may bear sons and daughters; that ye may be increased there, and not diminished.
They were to give their daughters to husbands. This is very instructive. They were to marry among themselves. Intermarriages with the heathen nations wer forbidden. This teaches Christan to marry fellow Christians but of course they be of different nations now because in Christ Jesus we are one. The fact is that they should marry in the Lord. 1Cor 7.
1Cor 7:39 KJV The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.
Another reason for this marriage even though in captivity was to preserve their nations and be increased. This fulfilled Gen 1 : 28. The children of Israel actually multiplied in Egypt even though they were under yoke of bondage.
The Lord talked about marriage too and this mode or pattern of how to marry.
Luk 20:34 KJV And Jesus answering said unto them, The children of this world marry, and are given in marriage:
They were given in marriages to order to increase the population and fulfil other roles of marriages.
In conclusion, we have seen that women are to be given in marriages to men. A man should seek God for the woman he would have Him marry and God will do what He did with Adam, He will bring your wife to you. He will show you whom to marry. This raises another question whether God does cares about whom we marry or He is actually involve in whom we marry. The answer is yes to all the questions even though He doesn’t take our free will from us. God will guide you and lead you to the right person and it is adjudged from scripture point of view that He brought that woman to you.
Pro 18:22 KJV Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.
Pro 19:14 KJV House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife is from the LORD.
It is the greatest honour to be bestowed on the man to marry such one.
Lesson to the ladies
Let the Lord lead you as a lady to your husband. Do not strategize to a woo a man to yourselves by displaying your “assets” to him on social media or sending what some does today by sending nude picture or suggestive pictures as if advertising themselves. All you are doing is to portray yourselves as sex object. You will attract men but ungodly men who will take advantage of you. The Lord is still in the business of “bringing” women to men. Even if you have feelings for a man, keep it in control and prayerfully God that brought that feelings will reveal it to the specific man at an appropriate time and he will eventually make the move. Please do’not send wrong signal to men that you are ‘available’. Let the man do the seeking and he will find you out.
Lesson for the men.
Adam was not anxious or perturbed about whom to marry. He waited until God brought a woman to him. Why will you not wait for God to lead you to the right woman. If you don’t lean on your own understanding and that of social media, you will get the right person that will be help meet and helpers to fulfil God’s purpose for your life. Seek His face like the servant of Abraham did and He will direct your path.
Pro 3:5-6 KJV Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.