Marriage is an institution established by God in Genesis 2. God brought Eve to Adam and Adam named his wife and said she will be mother of all creations. he also established a fact that the man will leave his parents and stick to his wife.
Gen 2:23-24 KJV 23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. 24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
Marriage is designed for many reasons like companionship which is upper most in the heart of God when he said ‘it is not good for a man to live alone’. it was not that the man was feeling lonely, Adam was busy in the garden but when all the animals were brought to him for naming ceremony, there was none that look like him or that can perform the role of an help meet.
Gen 2:20 KJV And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.
Other reasons for marriage is procreation. God had blessed Adam and Eve when they were created in Gen 1:26 to replenish the earth. They were to spread abroad and this will be done in procreation.
The objective of marriage has been sidelined and relationship between male and female has been limited to casual sex and gratification of urges.
1Cor 7:1-10 KJV 1 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. 3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. 4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. 5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. 6 But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment. 7 For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that. 8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I. 9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn. 10 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:
In the text above one of the reasons for marriage is stated. Paul says to avoid fornication or sexual sins, every man should have his own wife and every wife should have her own husband. and besides this, the man should render to the wife her conjugal right which includes but not limited to provision, food, raiment and sexual gratification. This will to a greater extent prevents sexual sins.
Exo 21:10 KJV If he take him another wife; her food, her raiment, and her duty of marriage, shall he not diminish.
Paul also encouraged the married not to deny themselves this intimate relationship. If there is going to be a time when it will not be done, it should be mutually agreed upon like the time of fasting and separation for a while, they should come together again and this will prevent Satan from taking advantage of their desires and lack of self control.
Paul shifted his discuss to singles, widows and generally unmarried people and would have loved them to remain as he is but he said if they can not contain, they should marry. The reason why he was probably advising them remain as he was at that time was because of the distress and persecution the early church was going through. But other than that, they should marry. According to Paul, it is better to marry than to burn.
1Cor 7:9 KJV But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.
The word “ continency” in Greek is “enkrateuomai” and is translated “ contain” in the KJV. This verb is only found here and 1Cor 9:25 and in both passages it is in the present tense. It describes “the opposite of self-gratification” (other translations use terminology such as “self-control”). It also means the ability to hold oneself in. The proper attitude of the believer is to be one of self-control over all desires, especially his sexual desires.
The word translated “ burn” (puroo) describes raging sexual feelings and desires. According to Greek Lexicon Thayer (p. 558) said the word in the present text means “to be inflamed with sexual desire.” It also means continuance in unsatisfied desire. Since burn is a present tense verb, God says sexual feelings can continually rage within a person. Paul left no doubt about sexual passion being a very strong force-a force that should be discussed with young people before they begin to date.
Paul encourages marriage because to do otherwise is a sign of apostacy.
1Tim 4:1-3 KJV 1 Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils; 2 Speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot iron; 3 Forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain from meats, which God hath created to be received with thanksgiving of them which believe and know the truth.
I think from the on -going, early marriage for young adults is encouraged especially in our adulterous and sexually perverse generation. Our generation celebrates sexual union and intimacy among the young ones with every adverts on Television having a taste of sexual urges. It has gotten to the extent that even if when advertising cars, a young lady is put there in bikini dress! All the movies have one scene or the other where sexual acts are performed. The cartoons are not left behind, these days it is common to see cartoon figures kissing and romancing and our children are glued to the television all day long. In our junior schools and colleges, we see students of nine to twelve years discussing intimate affairs, writing love letters and engaging in this evil acts. They grow up with this attitude and before reaching the age of fifteen they are already sexually active.
Our modern day parents are very busy with economic pursuits that they hardly have time for their kids, they left these kids in the hands of nannies or alone. Most of the young girls are victim of rapist these days. It will be very hard to find a young virgin in our secondary school. The universities are not left alone, they assumed that they are young adults and free from parental control, so they see it as opportunity to satisfied their curiosity and practise what they watch on internet and Television. With all these there is no way that sexual passion will not be there. It is like ladies are going back to pre-dress era. Most of the fashion statements today are nakedness celebrated. The top artists, celebrities and pop stars encourages “show off” your endowment and cleavages.
The Christians especially young male Christians are mostly affected, even when brought up in Godly homes with all the trainings they could ever get, they are prone to the vices going on in our society. Have you heard of situations of sexual immorality in our churches? It is prevalent these days because most young females dress to church in sexual provocative and suggestive attires and seeing through dresses. What shall the young man do? Should he close his eyes during service and raise his head up on the street?
The instructions giving to the young adults
1Cor 6:18 KJV Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.
The word ‘flee’ really means to ‘run, avoid, shun, seek safety in flight’ It connote the idea that danger is around so run.It is a present tense which indicates idea of running continously. Joseph in Gen 39: 6 ran. He fled, he didnt reason it or try to persuade the woman but ran away, left his clothes in her hand and jumped out of the window.
some sins are best met by resistance and fighting (see Jam_3:8 ) while others such as fornication are best dealt with by fleeing.
Fornication is a sin against a person’s own body and is explained in a variety ways. It seems best to regard sexual sin as a special type of wrong . Paul said, “every sin but one is committed outside the body.” There is one sin and one sin only where a person “sins against his own body.” This is sexual sin. Sexual sin affects a person in ways that no other sin can. It is so deep, personal and intimate, that it is in a special category. Sexual sin is often a sin against the sinner’s home. It is a sin against a person’s very soul ( Pro_6:32-33 ). It is a sin that saturates every part of a person’s being ( 2Pe_2:14 ). Only the sexual act makes the soul mingle with the body, fastening the one to the other with a kind of glue. Other sins, such as murder or theft, are projections or misuses of the powers of the body. But fornication involves the body as the very center, the motive as well as the seat of sin. All sin is a destructive force, and fornication is no exception. It cripples the entire personality, defies God, degrades others, and corrupts oneself.” Married people who commit this sin insult their spouse, as well as the institution of marriage.
Flee youthful lust
2Ti 2:22 KJV Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.
There are lusts peculiar to flaming youth. Such passions as youth are subject to. Paul felt that Timothy, then a young man, was subject to the same passions as other young men; and hence, his repeated cautions to him to avoid all those things, arising from his youth, which might be the occasion of scandal. It is to be remembered that this Epistle is applicable to other ministers, as well as to Timothy; and, to a young man in the ministry, no counsel could be more appropriate than to “flee from youthful lusts;” not to indulge for a moment in those corrupt passions to which youth are subject, but to cultivate the pure and sober virtues which become the ministerial office. (Barnes)
Anything that will arouse the motion of sin in us should be avoided. Watching x-rated movies, visiting pornographic sites on web, discussing romantic scenes watched in movies which should never having been watched at all, having too much body contacts with the opposite sex, romantic plays and things like these should be avoided by all youths who wants to live for God.
He advised him to avoid and flee youthful lusts: by which may be understood, not only the lusts of the flesh, but also the lusts and vices of the mind, as ambition and pride, vain-glory and ostentation. Flee from all occasions of exciting or gratifying the passions of youth; whether, on the one hand, the love of sensual pleasure; or, on the other, rashness, contention, pride, and vainglory; to which young persons are peculiarly obnoxious.”
Mortify the deeds of the body
When a man becomes born again, it is his spirit that is regenerated 2Cor 5:17, his flesh is not born again and one of the solutions proffred by Paul is to “kill” not the flesh but the deeds of the flesh. He want us to put to death; do destroy the deeds. Sin is mortified when its power is destroyed, and it ceases to be active. What are the deeds of the body? They are the corrupt inclinations and passions; and are called deeds of the body, because they are supposed to have their origin in the fleshly appetites.
Gal 5:19-21 KJV 19 Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, 20 Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, 21 Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.
This can only be done through the help of the Holy Spirit. If we seek that grace and spiritual help which the Gospel of Christ furnishes, resist, and, by resisting, mortify the deeds of the flesh, against which the law gave you no assistance, ye shall live a life of faith, love, and holy obedience here, and a life of glory hereafter.
Give no occasion to the flesh
Rom 13:14 KJV But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof.
The word “provision” here is what is used to denote “provident care,” or preparation for future needs. It means that we should not make it an object to gratify our lusts, or study to do this by laying up anything beforehand with reference to this design. The reason is that we will not fulfil the lusts thereof – With reference to its corrupt desires. The gratification of the flesh was the main object among the Romans. Living in luxury and licentiousness, they made it their great object of study to multiply and prolong the means of licentious indulgence. In respect to this, Christians were to be a separate people, and to show that they were influenced by a higher and purer desire than this grovelling propensity to minister to sensual gratification
By flesh we are here to understand, not only the body, but all the irregular appetites and passions which led to the abominations already recited. No provision should be made for the encouragement and gratification of such.
When you go to club houses, visit porn site on internet, watch X-rated films, gisting with opposite sex in a secluded and dark area, touching each other in sensitive places and so many things that are not befitting to unmarried people to do, you will be making provision for the flesh. We are to starve the lust in our flesh by abstaining from such things that can feed it.
Even though it may not necessarily be the final antidote to passionate desires among the youths, it will be much better to get married and consumed sexual passions legally when you are married to your spouse. It won’t be a sin and you can desire each other as many time as possible. This is what Paul advocates. It is better, it is preferred to marry than to burn with passion. marriage is not for sex only but it greatly help to avert and avoid sexual sins. It will be better for our youths to get married than being involved in unrestrained passion and be satisfying the desire of their flesh on the bed of immorality.
If a man is getting close to thirty years and above and he is not married, something is not adding up. It is either he is having his sexual desire met illegally or he is impotent. It will be greatly be at an extreme end if he is having self control. There is no doubt that we have some men who may have strong will of the mind and will not want to defile themselves, but they are rare and this is highly encouraged.
Get married, don’t waste much time in courtship or in engagement lasting eternity. It is not safe for you. it is my opinion that courtship and engagement should not last for more than one to one and half years at most.