The divine giving role to a wife in the Bible is well documented and there is no doubt about it that God has the married woman at heart; her welfare, spiritual growth, her feelings and most importantly her calling. She is called to be a “Home Maker” as she supports her husband and raise her children in a godly way. How do one become a home maker God has called you to be as a woman? This is what is discussed in this article and it wll be a blessing to the young ladies out there preparing for marriages and for married ladies whose role is to teach the younger women.
Tit 2:3-5 KJV 3 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; 4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
The younger women refer to in the text are ladies in the church. Paul writing the pastoral epistle to Titus on how to relate to different segments of people in the Church.
Paul wants the aged women in the church to teach the younger women certain qualities and attributes that will make them super Home maker and Christians that are role model for this adulterous world.
Before I talked about those qualities I will like to talk on how you get to be qualified to be like those people Paul wants the older women to talk to. That is from being a lady to being a wife. Definitely you are marching towards that role.
There are some questions you need to ask any brother or suitor that comes to you even ever before you consider praying about his request for marriage. And when I say a brother that excludes anyone that is not a Christian or to be precise born again.
2Cor 6:14-16 KJV 14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? 15 And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? 16 And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.
It should be difficult for unbelievers to approach you because of your life style and peradventure they made a mistake of coming, you should not even give it a thought. Don’t be deceived by good looks, handsomeness, career, height, broad shoulder, six packs abdomen and nice cars. Its non negotiable, he will not change after marriage, you are not Holy Spirit and so you can’t change anyone. If the love and affections cannot change him before marriage, it will not change him after marriage.
Remember Abraham in Gen 24, he told his servant Eliezer to take wife from his brethren and not from Canaanite women.
Gen 24:3-4 KJV 3 And I will make thee swear by the LORD, the God of heaven, and the God of the earth, that thou shalt not take a wife unto my son of the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I dwell: 4 But thou shalt go unto my country, and to my kindred, and take a wife unto my son Isaac.
You as a Christian lady has a constituency and brethren where your spouse should come from. Don’t go to Egypt.
In continuation, you should ask the brother what is his purpose in life?, I mean his assignment. I am not talking about where he is working or what he does for a living. That is his job. His job is what put food on his table, we will talk about that later but presently what is work? What assignment has God given to him. The reason is that a Woman is an help meet. That is she is to help a man in his assignment and if the man does not know or does not have any assignment, the purpose of the marriage is being defeated. What do I mean? Before God brought Eve to Adam, God gave him assignment in the garden. It was work first before marriage. It was for the purpose of that work that Eve was brought.
Gen 2:8 KJV And the LORD God planted a garden eastward in Eden; and there he put the man whom he had formed.
If a man does not know what his assignment in life is, you will not be able to help him accomplish it. So find out from what are you here for? Why were you born? To what purpose or callings are you here?
Let us look at some of Adam’s responsibilities in the garden as it affects you. Because your purpose in life is tied to your work. In order words, your work that you do ought to stream out from your purpose in life. They should be related.
Gen 2:15 KJV And the LORD God took the man, and put him into the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it.
Part of his job is to dress the garden, to dress means to till the garden, to labour and to work it out. The brother must have work, be able to !about and provide for his family. If he is believing God for job then tell him to go and get work before thinking of relationship. That getting work is to be his no 1 priority. Many brothers have tied many sisters down with marriage proposals while in schools. When they graduated, they stay for many years trying to get job and yet the sister is waiting and getting older by the day.
The word “dress” also means to cultivate. Cultivate means to nurture, grow, to tend and to foster. In order words the man should be able to have the capacity to know the word of God like palm of his hand. He shouldn’t be those brothers that need to be encouraged to go to church, read Bible and pray or how will he nurture his wife and children coming? A man should be a able to groom his wife that why he is called bridegroom. The number one way for him to nurture you is through the word. Does he know the word? Does he leads people to the Lord in evangelism and can he share his testimony? He is the priest of his house.
Then we come to next role which is to keep the garden. The word “keep” means to guard it, protect and watch over it. The said brother should be able to watch over you in prayers, physical protection and be able to provide adequate measure to make sure the wife is safe. No one should be able to violate the wife and as the new testament put is, he should be able to laid his life for his wife.
Eph 5:23 KJV For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
The idea here seems to be, that as Christ gave himself to save his body, the church; as he practiced self-denial and made it an object of intense solicitude to preserve that church, so ought the husband to manifest a similar solicitude to make his wife happy, and to save her from want, affliction, and pain. He ought to regard himself as her natural protector; as bound to anticipate and provide for her needs; as under obligation to comfort her in trial, even as Christ does the church. What a beautiful illustration of the spirit which a husband should manifest is the care which Christ has shown for his “bride,” the church!
When all these are put in place, please check out the following to make sure that there is compatibility between you and the brother. In order words compatible is a state
The state of being compatible; in which two or more things are able to exist or work together in combination without problems or conflict.
There is common level ground of play between the two of you.
Amos 3:3 can two walk together except they agree
May be you have to be social mate, prayer mate, Bible study mate.
There must be chemistry too. Marriage is both physical and spiritual. There must be affections, feelings and love towards the person. Don’t be rule by emotion but be guided by it. Does butterfly flies in your stomach each time you think about the brother? If it seems you don’t have feelings for him yet please wait till the coast is clear.
Having come to the stage of wife, Paul asked the age women to teach the younger women to have the following attributes. The virtues in which young married women need to be schooled follow: the virtues of home life.
To be sober means to make sane or sober – minded; to recall a person to his senses; hence, to moderate, chasten, discipline. The meaning is, that they should instruct them to have their desires and passions well regulated, or under proper control
They are to love their husbands. That is fond of man, affectionate as a wife: – the same they are to do for their children, not abandoning them in search of career as ‘career lady’. Many evils in the society are cause by children that comes from home where they are not trained.
To be discreet, or temperate in eating and drinking, so the word is rendered in Tit 2:2 or to be sober both in body and mind; or to be wise and prudent in the whole of their conduct, both at home and abroad: chaste; in body, in affection, words and actions, having their love pure and single to their own husbands, keeping their marriage bed undefiled.
Keepers at home: minding their own family affairs, not gadding abroad; and inspecting into, and busying themselves about other people’s matters. This signifies not only keeping at home, but an attentive looker after domestic affairs. This is “one who takes care of the things belonging to the house, and keeps them.
Good – In all respects, and in all relations. To a wife, a mother, a sister, there can be no higher characteristic ascribed, than to say that she is good. What other trait of mind will enable her better to perform her appropriate duties of life? What other will make her more like her Saviour?
Obedient to their own husbands: the same is required of wives, Eph 5:22 , and is due from them to their husbands, as being their head.
In conclusion, Paul said its all about the gospel
That the word of God be not blasphemed – That the gospel may not be injuriously spoken of Mat 9:3, on account of the inconsistent lives of those who profess to be influenced by it. The idea is, that religion ought to produce the virtues here spoken of, and that when it does not, it will be reproached as being of no value.
The enemies of the Gospel are quick-eyed to spy out imperfections in its professors; and, if they find women professing Christianity living an irregular life, they will not fail to decry the Christian doctrine on this account.
We are to be example to believers and unbelievers. They should be able to emulate our characters as godly ladies and wives to be. The word of God must not be reproach at by our life styles, we should be moderate in dressing, dress the way you will be addressed, talk with wisdom, soft words broke bones, walk circumspectly.