Dealing with rejection
One of the things that every man born of a woman has to deal with in life is rejection.
To reject means to refuse to accept. It is synonymous with decline, refuse, turn down, repudiate, disown, abnegate, abjure, deny.
Jdg 11:1-11 KJV 1 Now Jephthah the Gileadite was a mighty man of valour, and he was the son of an harlot: and Gilead begat Jephthah. 2 And Gilead’s wife bare him sons; and his wife’s sons grew up, and they thrust out Jephthah, and said unto him, Thou shalt not inherit in our father’s house; for thou art the son of a strange woman. 3 Then Jephthah fled from his brethren, and dwelt in the land of Tob: and there were gathered vain men to Jephthah, and went out with him. 4 And it came to pass in process of time, that the children of Ammon made war against Israel. 5 And it was so, that when the children of Ammon made war against Israel, the elders of Gilead went to fetch Jephthah out of the land of Tob: 6 And they said unto Jephthah, Come, and be our captain, that we may fight with the children of Ammon. 7 And Jephthah said unto the elders of Gilead, Did not ye hate me, and expel me out of my father’s house? and why are ye come unto me now when ye are in distress? 8 And the elders of Gilead said unto Jephthah, Therefore we turn again to thee now, that thou mayest go with us, and fight against the children of Ammon, and be our head over all the inhabitants of Gilead. 9 And Jephthah said unto the elders of Gilead, If ye bring me home again to fight against the children of Ammon, and the LORD deliver them before me, shall I be your head? 10 And the elders of Gilead said unto Jephthah, The LORD be witness between us, if we do not so according to thy words. 11 Then Jephthah went with the elders of Gilead, and the people made him head and captain over them: and Jephthah uttered all his words before the LORD in Mizpeh.
TYPES OF REJECTION
A man make a marriage proposal to a lady and he can be rejected on the ground of not being tall enough, not having money, not muscular like Anthony Joshua. A woman can also be equally rejected by an intending suitor on the ground of not being beautiful enough, not too fair in complexion, not too educated and so on and so forth. There are many firms and cooperate organization today that rejects applicants because they don’t have the right qualification or certificates, some of the applicants don’t have good grades in school, sometime the number of applicants are too many, much more than the available vacancies. Some are not qualified at all, they can’t even speak good English and yet they are graduates of Universities.
Some are rejected because of their tribe, they said this job Is for an indigene, you are not from this part of the country so you can’t work here, it is community slot.
Husband may reject food cooked by the wife. You may reject cloth sown by your tailor. The reason why you didn’t wear that shoe was because you rejected it.
Some do reject churches. In fact most of the people in churches today are by products of their rejection of another church. Today many are in a particular church, service is going on, some are contemplating on going somewhere else, they say I don’t like the Pastor, I don’t like the women group, they don’t treat me well or show me love in this church, so they go and can attend 5-8 churches within ten years, to them It is not a big deal.
Some people may reject your work or labour after you have in your best and yet after presenting it, they tell you is this all you can come out with?
How about embassies? They stamped your visa application, they said we don’t want you in our country.
Examination bodies set up cut off marks for all the courses in order to reject students, by that they are saying, we don’t want you, you are not qualify enough, go and try your luck next time.
Presently, some countries are rejecting other countries because USA has listed them among the terrorist countries in the world.
Some reject the gospel when presented with the message of salvation. They found fault with the message.
One way or the other, we have all passed through these and many are still passing through them.
But can I pray for you, wherever they have turned you down, rejected you, snubbed you, very soon, they will call you back, they shall accept you back in Jesus name.
The text we read is the story of Jephtah. Bible says Jephtah was a mighty man, he was not born a mighty man or grew up a mighty man. He was born a bastard. But God changed his story. His father married a concubine and when the man passed away, the remaining members of the family drove Jephtah out, they said he cannot inherit their father’s properties because he was a son of an harlot. There are many issues in a polygamous family. Jephtah ran away for his life. But after some years, there was war between Ammon and Israel, there was no leader or anyone capable to lead the children of Israel, there was a need for a captain. They started looking for Jephtah.
Can I pray for you again ma, there are places you have submitted your CV, quotation, or there are people that are supposed to marry you and they are being funny now, after this prayer, they shall look for you, they shall search for you in Jesus name.
Situation arose that made them to start looking for Jephtah because it was his time for promotion and elevation. In few days time, situation that will make nations, organizations, communities and families that have previously rejected you to look for you will arise in Jesus name.
You know, when they found Jephtah, they have to negotiate with him, things have changed, it was not the old Jephtah, they were talking to a champion now and a warrior. They were now the one begging, but few years ago, they insulted him, they rejected him but table has been turned around, after this prayer those that rejects you shall bow before you in Jesus name.
There are many people like Jephtah in the Bible that were rejected but after sometime God made them to become people of repute, people that nations can’t do without them.
CASE STUDY OF JOSEPH
Gen 37:8 KJV And his brethren said to him, Shalt thou indeed reign over us? or shalt thou indeed have dominion over us? And they hated him yet the more for his dreams, and for his words.
These were the words of Joseph’s brothers when he tols them about his dream. They rejected him and asked if he will be their ruler. They hated him for his coat of many colours and because of his dreams. But what happened at the end of the day? Joseph became a ruler in Egypt and they have to come and bowed before him several times. This was a man they had rejected, sold into slavery and told lies to their father that the evil beast must have devoured Joseph. Here is the testimony of Joseph:
Gen 45:7-8 KJV 7 And God sent me before you to preserve you a posterity in the earth, and to save your lives by a great deliverance. 8 So now it was not you that sent me hither, but God: and he hath made me a father to Pharaoh, and lord of all his house, and a ruler throughout all the land of Egypt.
A rejected boy was now a prince. May that be your story in Jesus name.
CASE STUDY OF MOSES
The book of Acts talked about Moses when Stephen was speaking to the Sanhedrin.
Act 7:27 KJV But he that did his neighbour wrong thrust him away, saying, Who made thee a ruler and a judge over us?
Stephen was referring to the encounter that took place in the book of Exodus when children of Israel were in captivity of the Egyptians. Two Hebrew were fighting, Moses was appalled, how can you guys be fighting, you were already suffering from the taskmaster, but rather than they accept to settled their differences, they abused Moses.
Exo 2:14 KJV And he said, Who made thee a prince and a judge over us? intendest thou to kill me, as thou killedst the Egyptian? And Moses feared, and said, Surely this thing is known.
Moses was sent to be their deliverer, he knew it, devil knew it and God knew it but the people he was sent to did not know. The book of Acts says they knew not or did not understand.
You see one of the reasons why people rejects people is that they don’t know who those people will eventually turn out to be in life.
When you read the story down, it was the same Moses that they rejected that eventually became the leader that brought them out of Egypt.
Act 7:35 KJV This Moses whom they refused, saying, Who made thee a ruler and a judge? the same did God send to be a ruler and a deliverer by the hand of the angel which appeared to him in the bush.
Wherever anyone have suffered rejection, God will promote you over them in Jesus name.
CASE STUDY OF JESSE’S CHILDREN
God Himself rejected some folks in the Old Testament.
1Sa 16:6-9 KJV 6 And it came to pass, when they were come, that he looked on Eliab, and said, Surely the LORD’S anointed is before him. 7 But the LORD said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the LORD seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart. 8 Then Jesse called Abinadab, and made him pass before Samuel. And he said, Neither hath the LORD chosen this. 9 Then Jesse made Shammah to pass by. And he said, Neither hath the LORD chosen this.
He rejected the all the children of Jesse, even the one looking princely.
CASE STUDY OF SAUL
God rejected Saul after He had made him king. God sent him on errand, he went but did not do what God asked him to do
1Sam. 15:26 KJV And Samuel said unto Saul, I will not return with thee: for thou hast rejected the word of the LORD, and the LORD hath rejected thee from being king over Israel.
CASE STUDY OF ISRAEL
The Lord rejected the whole nation
2Ki 17:20 KJV And the LORD rejected all the seed of Israel, and afflicted them, and delivered them into the hand of spoilers, until he had cast them out of his sight.
He cast them out of His sight
OUR LORD WAS REJECTED
In the New Covenant, our Lord Jesus was rejected totally, by the Jews, the religious leaders, the Pharisees and Sadducees, his own family too did not believe Him, there was a time when they came to pick Him, they said He was mad.
Mar 3:21 KJV And when his friends heard of it, they went out to lay hold on him: for they said, He is beside himself.
That was the extent of the rejection. It culminated in him been crucified and exposed to the ridicule and shame of the death on the cross which was for common criminals.
They rejected Jesus because He was not fit into the kind of deliverer or Messiah they were anticipating. They were looking forward for somebody that will deliver them from the Roman yoke, they were looking for a military man, but God gave them a lamb, a carpenter, untutored in their colleges. They said how can this be Christ, we know Him, we know His sisters, His father was a carpenter. Till today some are still looking for the saviour.
Mar 6:3 KJV Is not this the carpenter, the son of Mary, the brother of James, and Joses, and of Juda, and Simon? and are not his sisters here with us? And they were offended at him.
They rejected His teaching
They rejected His personality
They rejected His miracles and called them of the devil
Even God turned His ack against Him.
Isaiah called a man of sorrow rejected of men
Isa 53:3 KJV He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not.
God rejected Jesus for our sakes 2cor 5: 19 my father why has thou forsaken me
Mat 27:46 KJV And about the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, saying, Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani? that is to say, My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?
But this is what Peter said about Jesus:
1Pe 2:6-8 KJV 6 Wherefore also it is contained in the scripture, Behold, I lay in Sion a chief corner stone, elect, precious: and he that believeth on him shall not be confounded. 7 Unto you therefore which believe he is precious: but unto them which be disobedient, the stone which the builders disallowed, the same is made the head of the corner, 8 And a stone of stumbling, and a rock of offence, even to them which stumble at the word, being disobedient: whereunto also they were appointed.
The Greek word for ”disallowed” in verse 8 is “apodokimazō” and it mean: to disapprove, reject, repudiate,
Jesus was disallowed, rejected and disapproved.
Peter was actually quoting from what Psalmist had spoken before :
Psa 118:22 KJV The stone which the builders refused is become the head stone of the corner.
The same is referred to in Act 4
Act 4:11 KJV This is the stone which was set at nought of you builders, which is become the head of the corner.
Even the Lord Jesus did mentioned it:
Mat 21:42 KJV Jesus saith unto them, Did ye never read in the scriptures, The stone which the builders rejected, the same is become the head of the corner: this is the Lord’s doing, and it is marvellous in our eyes?
That Psalm 118 was actually referring to David. There is a law of double mention where a scripture may be applied to two people. This same is applicable to Jeus.
David was rejected by his father when Samuel came to anoint a king, his father did not consider him fit to be invited but after God turned down the elders and other children, David was waited for and he was anointed among his brethren.
1Sam 16:11 KJV And Samuel said unto Jesse, Are here all thy children? And he said, There remaineth yet the youngest, and, behold, he keepeth the sheep. And Samuel said unto Jesse, Send and fetch him: for we will not sit down till he come hither.
In the midst of your family and among your family members, God will lift you up in Jesus name.
This passage is found in Psa 118:22-23. It was first applicable to David, but no less to Jesus.
The stone – The figure is taken from building a house. The principal stone for size and beauty is that commonly laid as the cornerstone.
Which the builders rejected – On account of its want of beauty or size it was laid aside, or deemed unfit to be a cornerstone. This represents the Lord Jesus, proposed to the Jews as the foundation or cornerstone on which to build the church, but rejected by them – the builders – on account of his lack of comeliness or beauty; that is, of what they esteemed to be comely or desirable, Isa 53:2-3.
The same is become … – Though rejected by them, yet God chose him, and made him the foundation of the church. Christ is often compared to a stone, a cornerstone, a tried, that is, a sure, firm foundation – all in allusion to the custom of building, Act 4:11; Rom 9:33; Eph 2:20; 1Pe 2:7 (refs4).
Lord’s doing – The appointment of Jesus of Nazareth to be the foundation of the church is proved by miracle and prophecy to be the work of God(Clarke).
But Peter said God had chosen and elect this same Jesus to be the foundation and chief corner stone for His church. He has honoured Him, may God honour you above your competitors in Jesus name.
UNDER THE NEW COVENANT
I did mentioned that God in the Old Testament did rejected people based on their performance, attitude and character but God is no longer rejecting people. Why? Because 2000years ago, Jesus; God Son was rejected and suffered for mankind and took away all the ground for God’s rejection. So there is no reason why God should reject people now. In fact 2Cor 5 God has made Himself friendly with the world and wants us to be reconciled with Him. John 3:16. For God so loved the world. He cant loved the world and at the same time be rejecting them. Jesus made the difference.
2Cor 5:19 KJV To wit, that God was in Christ, reconciling the world unto himself, not imputing their trespasses unto them; and hath committed unto us the word of reconciliation.
Here is the good news, that Jesus suffered rejection so that we can be accepted. Paul says something about our new found position in Christ.
Eph 1:6 KJV To the praise of the glory of his grace, wherein he hath made us accepted in the beloved.
The Greek word for “accepted” is “charitoō” and according to Thayer lexicon it means: to make graceful, charming, lovely, agreeable, to peruse with grace, compass with favour, to honour with blessings, to grace, that is, endue with special honor: – make accepted, be highly favoured.
Jesus is the “beloved” Mt 3:17. The only other place they used the Greek word “Charito” is in Lk 1:28
Luk 1:28 KJV And the angel came in unto her, and said, Hail, thou that art highly favoured, the Lord is with thee: blessed art thou among women.
In order words, we are already accepted in Christ Jesus. Because God loved Jesus and has accepted the atonement of Jesus and His sacrifice, anyone in Christ has been accepted in the beloved, He is the beloved and we have been accepted in Him, praise God.
He accepts us based on what Christ has done for us and not what we do, our self righteousness is good but it’s not the basis of our acceptance unto God. God accepts you because you put faith in His Son Jesus. Say I am accepted.
Ladies and gentlemen, it doesn’t matter who or where they have turned you back, rejects you, disapproved you,
God has accepted you. This cause for dancing and celebration. Man may reject you based on many factors; race, education, qualification, tribe, religion, nationality but there is one person who rejoices over us with dancing and that is our God. His opinion matters.
WHAT CAUSES REJECTION?
- FAMILY SENTIMENTS. Jephtah was rejected because his siblings hated him. The same thing happened to David
- Ignorance: the Lord Jesus was rejected because people don’t know who he was. 1John says they know us not.
1Jn 3:1 KJV Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God: therefore the world knoweth us not, because it knew him not.
They don’t know who you are, they don’t know the stuff you are made up of, they don’t know that you are a blessing to their organization, that guy doesn’t realize that you are an asset and not a liability, please forgive them.
- They sometime lack understanding: the Jews lacked proper understanding about messiah.
1Cor 2:8 KJV Which none of the princes of this world knew: for had they known it, they would not have crucified the Lord of glory.
- Hatred, envy, superiority complex
- Demonic activities. Some are smeared with oil of rejection. The story of a woman who doesn’t want her daughters to get married because she thought they would abandoned her after marriage so she put a mark on them yjay whenever any man or suitor sees the mark, he will run away. If there be anyone with similar issues you are delivered in Jesus name.
There are many people that the devil has marked so like that. If you find yourself experiencing constant and regular rejection despite the fact that all is right with your papers, quotation for jobs and the likes and ye you suffer rejection, then you need to take it up in prayers very well and seek help in breaking the yoke from your life
- WHAT SHOULD WE DO OR HOW DO YOU HANDLE REJECTION?
Don’t reject yourself. Jephtah was rejected by his family but he did not commit suicide. It is not the end of the world. He knew God and what God can do through him. He accepted his condition. It was a reality that he was a bastard but that did not stopped him. Everyday look at yourself in the mirror and say “I am the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus”, “I am blessed, I am highly favoured and accepted” This will build your self consciousness and self image.
Don’t look for validation and approval from man: God has approved you. He has qualified you.
2Cor 3:5-6 KJV 5 Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think any thing as of ourselves; but our sufficiency is of God; 6 Who also hath made us able ministers of the new testament; not of the letter, but of the spirit: for the letter killeth, but the spirit giveth life.
Accept some facts you can’t change: there are certain facts you can’t change learn to accept them. You can’t choose your parent, town, you don’t have control over such things so accept them. We may not be able to choose our parents, our place of birth, our tribe, we don’t have control over whether our parents were expecting us or we just showed up by mistake or failure of birth control system, no matter who our parents are, it doesn’t matter to God, we are not accidental discharge, but chosen and accepted by God, therefore accept yourself as you are, accept your colour, don’t go and bleach or toned up, accept your life.
Don’t be discouraged: disappointment and rejection do comes but don’t be discouraged about it, move on. Move to another place. For every three soil there is one that is good for the Sower
Don’t limit yourself or potential based on initial rejection. Jephtah gathered vain people together and became their captain, he trained himself in the art of war and trained others until he became so powerful that his fame reached to his countrymen. Develop yourself, train yourself, go for more education, training, vocational skills, very soon the same people that do not reckon with you now will seek for you. It is time for self improvement and self development. When you are fully developed, they will come for you again.
Fulfil your goal in life. Don’t allow your present status to hinder you, be focused. Our Lord Jesus did not allow the rejection of his fellow country men to distract him.
Develop unparalleled faith in yourself. You are more than able, you can do things, things will work out for you soon, what they said you can’t do, you will do much more, you will exceed their expectation. You are accepted in the beloved. What has become of Jesus has become of you. You are celebrated and highly honoured. You are an honorable. It is not the end of life. You are made for more. Renew your mind about who you are in Christ Jesus.
1Tim 4:12 KJV Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity.
He said the same thing to Titus:
Tit 2:15 KJV These things speak, and exhort, and rebuke with all authority. Let no man despise thee.
God believe in you so believe in yourself. We sometimes tell people to believe in God bit it is amazing to find out that God Himself believes in us because He has put His grace and ability In us.
1Ti 1:12 KJV And I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who hath enabled me, for that he counted me faithful, putting me into the ministry;
DON’T TAKE “NO” FOR ANSWER
There are time when you need to stand your ground when you know that you are being denied your right either spiritually or physically. Many Christians easily give up on just cause. The same in prayer, people are ready to quit and are not ready to wait to receive.
The Lord Jesus encouraged His disciples to always pray and not faint.
Luk 18:1-8 KJV 1 And he spake a parable unto them to this end, that men ought always to pray, and not to faint; 2 Saying, There was in a city a judge, which feared not God, neither regarded man: 3 And there was a widow in that city; and she came unto him, saying, Avenge me of mine adversary. 4 And he would not for a while: but afterward he said within himself, Though I fear not God, nor regard man; 5 Yet because this widow troubleth me, I will avenge her, lest by her continual coming she weary me. 6 And the Lord said, Hear what the unjust judge saith. 7 And shall not God avenge his own elect, which cry day and night unto him, though he bear long with them? 8 I tell you that he will avenge them speedily. Nevertheless when the Son of man cometh, shall he find faith on the earth?
The Lord did not only encouraged but gave a parable to buttress His point. The woman did not give up on the judge. There was a woman that cried after Jesus for the healing of her daughter but Jesus ignored her for awhile. The disciples who ought to help her were infuriated and asked Jesus to send her away. But read what happened:
Mat 15:22-28 KJV 22 And, behold, a woman of Canaan came out of the same coasts, and cried unto him, saying, Have mercy on me, O Lord, thou Son of David; my daughter is grievously vexed with a devil. 23 But he answered her not a word. And his disciples came and besought him, saying, Send her away; for she crieth after us. 24 But he answered and said, I am not sent but unto the lost sheep of the house of Israel. 25 Then came she and worshipped him, saying, Lord, help me. 26 But he answered and said, It is not meet to take the children’s bread, and to cast it to dogs. 27 And she said, Truth, Lord: yet the dogs eat of the crumbs which fall from their masters’ table. 28 Then Jesus answered and said unto her, O woman, great is thy faith: be it unto thee even as thou wilt. And her daughter was made whole from that very hour.
She got what she wanted despite the seemingly rejection at first. Actually at that initial dispensation Jesus was sent to the lost house of Israel but after resurrection, healing became available for all because of the atonement.
Whatever the atonement of Jesus has paid for becomes your right in the kingdom and it is an act of irresponsibility if we let go because of little delay or initial resistance from the devil. Possess your possession.
Develop a right attitude and character in life. Many at times we are the architect of our own rejection. We are lazy, slothful, lack decorum, lack manner, not customer friendly, we have bad manners, we do sloppy job, we fail to prepare for opportunities in life. We don’t study for examination things like GMAT, professional qualifications, etc. hypocrisy, we are not what people think we are, we are something on Sunday but remaining six days of the week, we act, talk and dress like unbelievers. What of sloppy appearance. Please change, be courteous, learn good manners, there is a place where anointing and prayer of the pastor will take you to but your attitude and character will keep you there or lifts you higher. Many Christian badmouth people, slander, steals, are unfaithful, dishonest. Repent.